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I’m a dag and I don’t care!

For a number of reasons today.
I’m eating lunch alone, which is a toasted tuna & spinach sandwich and a chocolate frappe…pretty close to a fish milkshake once it’s in my belly…

I’m propped up awkwardly in a corner couch, 7 months pregnant and pretty uncomfortable reading a cool magazine.

my outfit consists of a faded retro stretchy dress, too small really, only being worn for maternity variety, tights, sandals on unpedicured feet, ratty hair and unkept eyebrows.

To add to this, my surrounding environment is made up of boutique everything shops, fashionista waif beauties, and BMWs.

To finish lunch I have awful heartburn and have just consumed half a pack of quickeze. Total dag dag dag!

But man, this time is MINE! I’m pondering creative projects, planning meals for mums I know need some help, enjoying the quiet, being saddened by peoples need for pretense, and praying for my beautiful family.

I’m not going to lie, I also dream of being thinner, more stylish with nicer hair and hooves, to own or sell designer things, and maybe one day have a car upgrade, but I am learning to be content as I waiver in and out of confidence.

When I grow up I want to be…

When I was a kid, I distinctly remember telling mum and dad that I wanted to be a mailman. (mail person for the PC), so I could stop at everyone’s house and get to know them.  This dream was squashed when dad explained that I wouldn’t really get to meet people because I would just have to drop off their mail in the box and keep driving. But I think this gives an indication of what I wanted to do in my life from a young age. To meet people, and connect with them, and help them. I have since developed more interests and desires, but that speaks to me of my core.

I don’t think its coincidence that kids spend a good amount of time role playing different jobs and roles in society. They need to discover what it is they want to do through this process.

I only was exposed to a handful of occupations in a rural NZ community, teacher, shop keeper, farmer or mailman were pretty much the options. I am amazed now at the world of opportunity and variety there is for us to partake in. I believe so strongly in finding a purpose in what you put your hand to. We are meant to do stuff, and stuff that we love. There is an occupation, business, vocation, job or area of interest for everyone to be matched to. And if you can’t find yours, make it yourself!

As a family we are having a bit of a tough time financially, and I know that I could easily find a temporary full time role in a government job because of the experience I’ve had. I went to an interview for one the other day, and as soon as I left the room, I thought “I don’t want to be here full time, or any time.” I struggled for a couple of days about whether I was being stupid, or just true to myself. And I came to this conclusion:

I have come to the realisation that I can’t bring myself to do things just for the money. My time is too precious to be wasting it doing things I don’t enjoy. I realised that in all things in this life, you can do it for love, or you can do it for money. I am doing life for love, taking all the steps to achieving some dreams, and believing that the money will come soon after!

Gifts

Wow, I feel so blessed. I had amazing friends help me celebrate my 30th birthday on Saturday. It was a fun party, I heard lots of laughter, and people who haven’t seen each other for a while got to reconnect. That is the most satisfying aspect for me. And I have to say, that all of my gifts were delightful! Wine, chocolate, cute house things, jewellery, and a bottle of Hendricks Gin! You know how sometimes people really miss the mark with presents. I don’t know if its because they really don’t know the person, what they like or enjoy, or the gift giver is so unaware of etiquette and social norms, but I’ve experienced and heard of some pretty funny gifts. Like a Dad giving his daughter an old Dolly Parton CD (his own) wrapped in recycled wrapping paper, for her 21st! And power tools for daughters, I once received a ceramic purple poodle dog, all glittery and dressed in high heels. Who would think to create such an item?! Hilarious. I’d love to hear stories of strange gifts. Please share!